.jpeg&height=877.5)
infinite wisdom
Blog
5.5.2023 | How to Stay Calm During a House Fire (Hint: Be on Edibles Already)
Freezing rain, mud, and 13 miles uphill only for it to be too dangerous for us climb down and even see our destination - Blanca Lake in Washington. If you want your friends to be VERY mad at you for several hours while you do intense physical activity in inclement weather, I can help! A few years ago, I obsessively planned a vacation centered around a hike in Washington with 5 of my friends. The hike, however if you can’t tell, did not end up being the fun part of the trip. That came later when I tried my first Dispensary Edible on an empty stomach after 40,000 steps and only a Peanut Butter Kind Bar.
Do y’all remember your first edible from a dispensary? Were you like me and doubted its mystical powers because you had eaten Steve Montgomery’s Special Brownies in high school and lived to tell about it? If you answered no, then you are better than me. I am getting a little ahead of myself though. Let’s run it back to the car ride after the most miserable 13 miles of our lives.
You know that picture of Lebron looking at Kyrie like “are you kidding me?” I had 5 girls in their mid-twenties giving me that look as we all peeled our wet jackets from our ice-cold shivering skin and tried to comb our fingers through our muddy hair. Admittedly, I should have chosen an easier hike. Maybe just cruised through Mount Rainer for a bit and saw some wildflowers but if you know me you know that if it isn’t hard then did you even do it? After 10 minutes of driving in a deafening, almost rage filled silence, one of the girls finally broke and requested a restroom stop. We stopped at a little gas station and to our excitement they had firewood. We had rented a really nice house in Queen Anne in Seattle, and it had a beautiful fireplace that was just asking to be lit after our long day.
We piled back in the car. Everyone was now in slightly better spirits some with Subway sandwiches in hand and trudged our way back to our Airbnb. We had decided to stay in that night, enjoy the fireplace, and maybe ice our knees. So why not relax and sample the edibles I had bought the day before at my first trip to an Adult Use dispensary in Washington. Your girl is a go getter and popped 20 mgs on an empty stomach like a goddamn fool while two of the girls I was with worked hard at trying to get the fireplace going so we could all sit and relax. They followed the instructions that the host had left and even called the host to make sure they opened the flue correctly. We all snuggled up on the couch as they lit her up.
For me at this time, the edibles were taking over and taking control. I can’t even say hitting. I was the edible now; the edible was me. So, you can imagine when the fireplace caught on fire, not in the way you want it to, my reaction was …minimal some may even call it catatonic. The fire alarm screamed at us as the smoke filled the house. Everyone around me was in an instant panic as the flames grew out from their designated area and into our living space. One of my friends ran to the kitchen to fill a pot of water to pour on it while the others tried and failed to suffocate the flames. I however was doing God’s work - some might say (not anyone who I was with) - by staying so calm and casually sauntering into the kitchen to pour myself some cereal to address these hunger pains I was feeling. I say it was a sign of the trust I had in them to extinguish the fire. They may disagree.
I stood out of the way eating my Apple Jacks behind the kitchen counter as they ran around now trying to de-smoke the house because these ladies got the fire out. Great job girls! I continued to enjoy my spoonfuls of deliciousness with dead eyes and no words as they opened the windows, sprayed Chanel perfume, and tried to make anything into a fan to air this place out. Which they did. Again, great job girls! I stood in the kitchen for a couple of hours that night in awe. Not of the fire but of the edibles. They had kept me calm while the place I was in was literally on fire. You might want to say well that was dangerous, but I say, I was not the one lighting the fire and I stand by that. As for why the fire started in the first place - the flue was blocked by some sort of debris. There was no damage to the home and only minimal damages to my friendships. A few of us still plan on going back out there to finish the hike and finally see this lake up close and personal.
We piled back in the car. Everyone was now in slightly better spirits some with Subway sandwiches in hand and trudged our way back to our Airbnb. We had decided to stay in that night, enjoy the fireplace, and maybe ice our knees. So why not relax and sample the edibles I had bought the day before at my first trip to an Adult Use dispensary in Washington. Your girl is a go getter and popped 20 mgs on an empty stomach like a goddamn fool while two of the girls I was with worked hard at trying to get the fireplace going so we could all sit and relax. They followed the instructions that the host had left and even called the host to make sure they opened the flue correctly. We all snuggled up on the couch as they lit her up.
For me at this time, the edibles were taking over and taking control. I can’t even say hitting. I was the edible now; the edible was me. So, you can imagine when the fireplace caught on fire, not in the way you want it to, my reaction was …minimal some may even call it catatonic. The fire alarm screamed at us as the smoke filled the house. Everyone around me was in an instant panic as the flames grew out from their designated area and into our living space. One of my friends ran to the kitchen to fill a pot of water to pour on it while the others tried and failed to suffocate the flames. I however was doing God’s work - some might say (not anyone who I was with) - by staying so calm and casually sauntering into the kitchen to pour myself some cereal to address these hunger pains I was feeling. I say it was a sign of the trust I had in them to extinguish the fire. They may disagree.
I stood out of the way eating my Apple Jacks behind the kitchen counter as they ran around now trying to de-smoke the house because these ladies got the fire out. Great job girls! I continued to enjoy my spoonfuls of deliciousness with dead eyes and no words as they opened the windows, sprayed Chanel perfume, and tried to make anything into a fan to air this place out. Which they did. Again, great job girls! I stood in the kitchen for a couple of hours that night in awe. Not of the fire but of the edibles. They had kept me calm while the place I was in was literally on fire. You might want to say well that was dangerous, but I say, I was not the one lighting the fire and I stand by that. As for why the fire started in the first place - the flue was blocked by some sort of debris. There was no damage to the home and only minimal damages to my friendships. A few of us still plan on going back out there to finish the hike and finally see this lake up close and personal.
Blanca Lake Washington
4.24.2023 | Cannabis & Alcohol Are Not the Same
If you have ever cared for someone with End Stage Alcohol Addiction or Alcoholic Cirrhosis you can understand how frustrating it is for alcohol to be so widely accepted while Cannabis is stigmatized to the point that some of my friends can’t even like my Human Resources Company Linked In page out of fear of judgement and retribution because it is associated with the Cannabis Industry. So, I decided I will share what that is like for those who have been lucky enough to not experience it.
Working as an ICU nurse for many years in a Trauma 1 Hospital that was the Liver Transplant Capital of the United States gave me a unique perspective about what alcohol really does to the human body. Hint: it destroys it in way that leaves a person highlighter yellow, weeping smelly fluid from their entire body, and forced to be on a medication called Lactulose that’s entire purpose is to make them shit uncontrollably to ease the hepatic encephalopathy.
This exercise will be best served if we put a face to the destruction. So let me tell you about a patient I cared for who abused alcohol for 1 year in her mid twenties. I’ll change the names and some details but everything else will remain the same:
I met her 6-year-old daughter and 28-year-old fiancé terrified and beyond confused in the waiting room walking into my shift when Isabella first got admitted. They airlifted her from some hospital in the boonies who didn’t have the level of care she required. She was sick as shit. My charge nurse and I looked at one another as we got prepared to transfer her from the raggedy MedFlight stretcher to our ICU hospital bed. Her blood pressure looked more like the score of a March Madness basketball game than the 120/80 that we’d like to see. She needed to be intubated too which would tank her blood pressure even more. It wasn’t even 15 minutes into our shift, and we were already putting the code cart next to the room in preparation for the next 12 hours of our night.
Isabella had this fiery red hair and a smile in her pictures that made you feel like you knew her. Her Fiancé described to us what the last 12 months had been like for him, Isabella, and their daughter. Isabella had unexpectedly lost her job. She struggled for months to find a new one. Her fiancé would work all day while Isabella was home. He. like many in his shoes, didn’t realize that Isabella was filling her teacup every day with Vodka instead of Chai. By the time, he started to realize the change in her complexion and inevitable shift in her personality, it was too late. One year in and Isabella needed a new Liver before her 26th birthday. One thing a lot of people don’t realize about alcohol abuse is how quickly it can hurt your body. A majority of the patients I cared for hadn’t spent decades downing bottles of Whiskey but instead, just had a bad a couple of years.
We intubated and stabilized Isabella that night. Her long road started there. A person won’t even be considered for a liver unless they have been sober for 6 months. This meant that when we received a patient who had been actively drinking, we had to then keep them alive and sober for 6 months before the real treatment even starts. I know this probably sounds harsh, but the research shows that it is necessary for success when they do receive a new liver. So, the process began with Isabella and her family. We started her on CVVH which is continuous dialysis because she was too unstable for regular dialysis, we put her in our biggest corner room knowing that she’d be a long-term resident, and we hoped that we could get her to her new liver.
Isabella had her good days and bad throughout the 5 months she was with us. There were times when the encephalopathy was improving, and we got to remove the breathing tube and hear her speak. But mostly, the small wins were overshadowed by really big losses. I remember coming in one night to Jack, her fiancé, in a panicked voice telling me he thought something was off. She seemed more lethargic to me as well. Her oxygen levels on Nasal Canal was reading normal but I decided to do some labs. As we both suspected, her oxygen levels were tanking. We reintubated her that time for the last time. She and Jack ended up getting married inside a hospital room. We made decorations out of hospital supplies, got flowers from the gift shop, and played "Here Comes the Bride" over the hospital loudspeaker.
Isabella would never get her liver. She ended up passing soon after their wedding. I wish I could say this was the exception, but it was not. Most of my liver patients never made it to their new liver.
I say all of this to say, The New York Times reporting is incredibly irresponsible. Cannabis has been shown to successfully help treat Opiate and Alcohol Addiction. Describing some of the medicinal side effects as adverse reactions or signs of cannabis addiction is just… I can’t say stupid.. misguided and uniformed. I'll leave you with this. In 10 years of nursing, the worst I saw of a Cannabis related Hospital Admission was a 77 year old woman who unknowingly ate a 200 MG Chocolate Bar and had to be kept for observation until we figured out that was what had happened.
4.17.2023 | Don't Trip Over What's Behind You
The serving size of Oreos is two Oreos and failure is part of success. It took me a long time to accept both of those things. Failing sucks. It's embarrassing, the ego takes a hit, and it makes you question whatever it is that you are doing and why you are doing it. In the moment the urge will be to escape it but in reality, what we should all be doing is living in it. Feeling the failure if you will. It's part of developing a mental toughness that you'll need to survive the working world. By the way, no one tells you about that part of working, do they? People are super mean for no reason! Especially in the Cannabis Industry where the bitter battle between love of money and love of the plant rages on with no end in sight. That’s why it's so important early on in your career - not to be your toughest critic so to speak- but to understand your failures better than anyone else does. The old adage of “get yourself before anyone else can get you” fits well here for me.
So how do you not run and hide when you know something isn’t working out right? "Actively Failing" is how I describe it. Its much like watching the ice cream melt off a cone directly onto the burning hot pavement on a summer day. First and foremost, take a step back and be proud for doing whatever you failed at. Failing means you tried which is a lot more than most. That’s the most important piece to remember every time you fail. Take a deep inhale of that sweet ol’ narcissism for a brief moment because you will need it as you inspect what you did wrong. For me, this was really hard to do. A lot of my failures come from thinking I knew what I was doing when I didn't. A bit of overconfidence if you will. -Everyone who knows me is reading and nodding. Stop it! - I really had to slow everything down and be open to the thought that some things we do in life are for the practice of it all. We’re talking about PRACTICE. Wow, I can’t believe I was able to make that reference in a blog. Shoutout Allen Iverson and the 2002 Boston Celtics for the now imfamous press conference. Kyle from second period ninth-grade history class is smiling right now. That one is for you, buddy.
You’ll want ease into this practice as it can be a mentally challenging one- don’t be too hard on yourself it’s about learning and growing stronger - Start with the good, what did I do well and what worked out as planned? That’s something we all forget. Failures have their bright spots too. Think about how you can make those bright spots even brighter. Its about improvement even when things are good they can always be great. Find the good in the wreckage and make it shine.
Next, Its time to be a little tougher on yourself :( and ask what could I have done differently? What really didn’t work and why didn’t it work? This is hard. The hardest. Its all about removing your personal feelings and remembering that its not an attack on you but an opportunity to be better. In doing this, you can avoid making the same mistakes in the future and be better prepared for similar situations. Understand that progress is rarely linear and that setbacks will happen. It's okay if you don't get it right the first time, or the second, or even the third. Success takes time and effort, and often involves a lot of trial and error. It's essential to not be overdramatic, remember that failure is not the end of the road. Even Drake released Tootsie Slide. Use your failure as fuel for growth and development. Examine them to the point that you feel ownership over that failure. Pick it apart. Know it better than anyone. Then adjust.
Adjusting is the fun part. It’s the part where you get your power back and get to show up and show off. You spent some time examining what’s wrong, working on it, and now it’s time to show what you have learned. And I am going to tell you something about this step that you're not going to like. You may fail at the same thing multiple times. I know its the worst but each time you fail, you gain something. Its not a throw away bet. You can take something from it each time. It's getting comfortable with it where the power lies.
Its not an easy practice to look deeply at your failures but its an important one for being successful. You’ll come out stronger in the end by knowing your weaknesses better than anyone. Own your mistakes. Learn from them. Make them yours.
Adjusting is the fun part. It’s the part where you get your power back and get to show up and show off. You spent some time examining what’s wrong, working on it, and now it’s time to show what you have learned. And I am going to tell you something about this step that you're not going to like. You may fail at the same thing multiple times. I know its the worst but each time you fail, you gain something. Its not a throw away bet. You can take something from it each time. It's getting comfortable with it where the power lies.
Its not an easy practice to look deeply at your failures but its an important one for being successful. You’ll come out stronger in the end by knowing your weaknesses better than anyone. Own your mistakes. Learn from them. Make them yours.